Everyone participates in family life. Whether it is played out in daily relationships, childhood memories, or watching the latest episode of Two and a Half Men, everyone has some level of involvement in family life. Even though the definition of what constitutes a family continues to evolve, no one can escape the reality that we share in the lives of others, and others contribute to our lives.

 

For those of us who live in western societies, our image of the ideal family tends take the form of the nuclear family: husband, wife, children all in the same house. Yet, even that picture assumes the presence of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins “in the background.” As we all know, the nuclear family consists of several quarks.

 

Family influence stretches beyond the confines of your dwelling place, as it reaches into the past and future. Genealogy is one of the most popular hobbies. Maybe you’ve traced out your family tree.

 

You don’t have to be a genealogist to know that we’ve all been touched by our ancestors. Sigmund Freud popularized what we already knew—our parents shape us, even in the way we perform mundane tasks. To this day I handle dirty plates, cups, and silverware in the way I was taught as a child. Needless to say, the parents who influenced you were influenced by their parents. Even in the cases of divorced or deceased parents, the absence of the previous generation contributes to our lives.

 

As societies have transformed we’ve undergone a change in our perception of family. Today, not all families look alike. Maybe no family resembles any other.   Today’s societies wrestle with new characterizations of family. Governments, religious institutions, and popular opinion continue to grapple with the precise essence of family life because family is getting complicated. Broken and bended. Polygamous and gay. Actual and virtual. Is your pet a family member? The wisdom literature speaks of the friend that sticks closer than a brother. Doctors want to know your family medical history, and some adopted children seek out their birth parents. And what about all of the religious communities that see themselves as family? “Did you hear about Sister Jones?” Many non-western families include tribal affiliations and their complex interconnections.

 

In America and Europeanized nations, divorce is more common than ever, and it carries no stigma. However in other cultures divorce is rare, and divorced women are held in contempt. Yet as everyone knows, married couples can live together in anger and loneliness for years.

 

In Africa, HIV-AIDS creates millions of orphans. Urbanization, industrialization, and gender-limiting policies in China are contributing to a transformation of women’s roles in Chinese culture. As Kwame Appiah points out in his book Cosmopolitanism, polygamy in many African nations has social and economic dimensions not usually considered by Westerners. Also, western psychology and religious mores with all of their prowess and insights is not equipped to adequately address the matrilineal family structures in other parts of the world.

 

Globalization is making everyone on the planet more aware of the multiple family structures existing on this big blue ball. That’s not to affirm that all forms of family are healthy for individual members or for societies as a whole. Instead, recognition of past, present, and potential family structures helps us to consciously participate in our personal microfamily and the macrofamily of humanity. There is no singular cosmic blueprint for building a family.

 

At Presence International, we’re interested in family organisms. As our families transform, our societies and selves transform as well. As an integral part of organizational transformation, we are exploring the emerging realities of family life, and you can get involved. You can send me your family stories that illustrate the changes your family—however you define family—has undergone and is going through. You can send me your vision of family life. What does family look like, and how do you picture families transformed and transforming? If you’d like, you can even send me photos that picture the transforming nature of family.

 

Your family stories are sacred stories—holy narratives linking yesterday, today, and tomorrow. That’s why we all need to hear the stories. They give life. Consider the book of Genesis. It contains the family story of Abraham and Sarah. It’s not always pretty, but it is always beautiful. Thousands of years after the fact, we continue to draw inspiration, hope, and courage from these sacred family tales.

 

Like Sarah and Abraham, all of us have stories comedic and tragic. Your family story can provide others with encouragement and illumination. When you send me your family stories and pictures, I will with (and only with) your permission share them here online. If you prefer to keep the names anonymous “to protect the innocent,” we will certainly do that.

 

Hearing real stories from real people just like you will help us all make sense of our own relationships in the ongoing transformation of family. You can email me with your stories at Kevin@presence.tv. Thank you.